Travel plans update..

Ah, travel by the way of hospital.

So I’ve been sick on and off the past week. I don’t know what’s been causing it, but maybe stress or maybe nerves or maybe meds or the thought of the potatoes in Idaho eating me, I don’t know. in either case, I think today is the day I finally start on the road.

Today my plans are to stop over in Kings Valley and grab a few things out of the RV and get it ready for sale and/or disposal, probably after I stop over in Veneta and visit a certain little black kitty before I head out. Tonight I plan on being in Portland.

Monday I’m going to start taking it slow. I want to try to see if Halsey Automotive has a part I need for the van before I begin the long trek, and I’m still recovering from the dental surgery I had on Friday, so I need to take it as easy as possible. The plan was to meet a few folks for lunch in Bend Tuesday, and then start the long drive to Boise and pick up I-84.

From there, SLC to Cheyenne to Denver. We’ll post more updates as we go. Stay tuned to Twitter for live updates as I can.

Travel Planning…

So here’s the tentative travel planning for the Denver trip.

Saturday I have plans to head to Kings Valley and deal with my old rig at the Faire site.

I want to leave Monday June 8th early in the AM and drive to Portland by way of Kings Valley. I need to pick up / drop off a few things in the storage unit in Milwaukie that will be later transported to Denver by moving van once I get settled somewhere.

From Portland I will be driving to Bend and taking care of a few things there on Tuesday morning. It would be awesome to visit a few old BendBroadband folks for lunch.. after that I plan on heading east towards Salt Lake City via US-20 and I-84. My goal is to get to at least Boise (if not the other side of Idaho entirely) by Tuesday nightfall.

Wednesday begins the ID/UT/WY segment of this journey, as I get past Salt Lake City around maybe lunchtime with the goal of Cheyenne by nightfall. There’s a few people I know in SLC: would be fun to meet up at the InNOut Burger in Ogden for lunch (that’s my plan).

Thursday is the final leg: Cheyenne to Denver. I may try to get all the way to DTC, but I will at least try to make it to the northern edge of the metro.

I haven’t made any hotel reservations for this trip mostly because I’ll be traveling in the VW (so theoretically I can just slumber in the back at a rest stop or campground).

So needs on this trip. I don’t have my cash relocation yet, and that will be waiting for me in Denver when I arrive. Anyone who can work out a personal loan for 30 days I’d appreciate it, and I’ll pay you back once I arrive in Denver and get money.

… and here’s to hoping that old beast makes it up the Rockies.

Thoughts on moving forward..

 

So, here’s the general picture of what’s going on. TL;DR: more content going on feedle.net, G+ and Twitter, less Facebook. Moving to Denver regardless of outcome. Computer access may be sporadic.

First off, note that this is posted on feedle.net and shared (usually via IFTTT scripts, YAY IFTTT!) out to Facebook. This will likely be the method that I’ll post big stuff moving forward. A few people I know don’t use Facebook at all (for various reasons), a lot of people use Facebook begrudgingly, and we won’t even go into the problems of Facebook “disappearing” content that for whatever reason they (or one of their algorithms) don’t like. Point is stuff of major magnitude will be here on feedle.net.

Less important stuff (random musings and “check this crap out” will likely be on G+ from now on. Brain farts and emotional belches will continue to be on Twitter. Ok, that’s out of the way.

I’m moving to Denver, maybe on a permanent basis. I’ve come to the conclusion that Oregon is a wonderful place, and I still love it here, but there’s no opportunity for me. I get lots of pings on jobs in Denver, and there seems to be lots of opportunity regardless of where this job goes. And Denver puts me a 4-hour airline flight from a LOT of places. So I’m moving forward with Denver regardless of what happens from now on.

I don’t know exactly how I’m doing this if the job doesn’t come through, but.. well, I honestly don’t care. I’m going to make this happen, it seems I’ll have some level of success there no matter what road I take. Go East Young Man!

So as a result of this move, I may have sporadic use of a real computer until I start some kind of job. Over the weekend I got rid of a LOT of old machines when I cleaned out the storage unit, and I’m pretty much from this point on depending on my iMac desktop machine as my main computer. My entire life is sitting on hard drives connected to my desktop Mac, and I’ve deliberately been warehousing old data on that machine. At some point I’d like to make a copy of this but for now this will do.

As everything is on the iMac (it’s named “astarte” for reference) and I’m preparing it for transport, I’ll be using my Windows gaming machine (named “Atlas”) as the daily driver for a bit. As such, I don’t have access to a lot of archival material, and even more so many projects are on hold until further notice. On a plus side, “atlas” is beefy enough to run virtual machines just perfectly, and I’ve been playing with Debian VMs on a portable file system and enjoying how that works.

I’ll probably post something a little bit later on feedle.net about travel plans in a separate post…

Goodbye, and hello.

Angel has left the building.

Something has happened to me the past week. I’m not 100% sure exactly when it happened, to be precise. Maybe it happened when I went to Denver for the job interview and realized my life was about to get very interesting. Maybe it happened that fateful day I heard that I not only did “well” on the interview I blew people away with my intelligence and ability to deal with hard technical questions. Maybe this is a change that started on Feb 26, 2014, when I walked out of BendBroadband’s office for the last time as an employee and proceeded to make my way to the operating table of St. Charles’ Hospital.

But the defining moment of change was on one of those mornings with just me, the bathroom mirror, and the forever jarring view of myself staring back asking the question I try to ask every day: “How are we today?” That day I said back to myself, “I’m spreading my wings to move to Denver. Care to come with?”

Molting has always been a hard process for me. It happened once before recently, and I think I’m still dealing with the fallout of not letting myself completely heal from the last molt. That day I sold my house in Arbor Lodge, packed up my possessions into a 8×20′ storage locker, and began this last four-ish years of healing I’ve been through. That day I shed those feathers, threw them in a locker on McLoughlin Blvd., and said I’m ready to hunker down and hibernate if I have to.

I wasn’t ready for that molt. I was still reeling from the loss of losing my home, losing my lover, losing everything I had tried to build of the life I came to Portland to develop after my parents passing. That molt was not by choice, it was by necessity. I didn’t choose the timing.

This molt is different. It’s my time. I’ve chosen this. I want to change and lose the scarred and tattered wings I grew when I needed to simply focus on survival. I’m ready to thrive again, ready to grow and change, and ready to embrace whatever tomorrow will make me look like.

I’m frightened and scared. I’m kind-of naked out here, new wings still taking form, new feathers starting to come through. As such, I’m occasionally volatile, often kind-of raw, and still learning what “normal” is again. But I’m excited about new opportunities, ready to face them regardless of where they lead.

Your Queen of Swords stands before you, hand outstretched in invitation. I’m spreading those wings and moving to Denver. Care to come with?

Next Station Stop: Denver

So I can officially announce this now that I’ve gotten an offer letter.

I will be moving to Denver, Colorado.  I got a Systems Engineer job with Charter.

There’s lots of mixed emotions about all of this.  Oregon has been my adopted home now for well over a decade, and I’ve made lots of friends here.. in Portland, in Bend, and even down here in Eugene.  A lot of people have helped me along the way get to the point where taking a job like this was even possible.

Over a year ago I struggled to even perform basic functions of life.  I was very sick, so sick that I didn’t realize at the time how close I was to having a life-ending heart attack.  As it is I had an “inferior myocardial infarction”, which is about as close as you want to get to a chest-grabbing-fall-to-the-ground-call-911-as-seen-on-Emergency! heart attack.  I’ve struggled through the last year with a lot of help from friends, and even some begrudging help from enemies.

Denver wouldn’t have been my first choice.  Staying here in the Cascadian Republic with my trees, rivers, rain, and gas station attendants would have been my ideal choice.  But believe me, the offer to move to Denver is substantial: enough money for me to be financially independent again, and maybe even pay back some of the debts I owe in time.  And while not my beloved Portland (or even my “Portland substitute” in Eugene) there are trees, and mountains, and rivers.  There isn’t nearly as much rain, and no friendly (?) gas station attendants..

There are new friends and old ones waiting for me in Denver.  There are opportunities, boundless ones at first glance.  For the first time in years I’m excited for my future.  A bit scared, a but overwhelmed about the logistics of moving four cats, two RVs, and a storage unit of crapola across the Rockies.

But the darkness is giving way to light.  I see what I’m capable of, and I’m reaching for it.  This is a big step, but one that I think will pay rewards long term.

Goodbye, Facebook.

So, over the last couple of days there have been a .. “series of unfortunate events” that has lead me to de-Facebook my life.  My reasons for this are numerous, and this has been a long time coming to be honest. The short TL,DR edition is that the downsides now far outweigh the upsides.  If you want to know the reasons, this (rather lengthy post) should sum it up.

1. Irreconcilable Philosophical Differences

There isn’t one specific policy decision that Facebook has done that pissed me off: it’s seemingly been ALL OF THEM in the past year or so.  The “real name” policy debacle.  Censorship issues,  and inconsistent application of their “Community Standards.”   The increasing tendrils of Facebook into things I don’t want them in.

And we haven’t even gotten to the invasive marketing thing.

We all know that Facebook isn’t alone in this category.  Google is as bad, if not worse.  But I still believe, in the end, Google uses the advertising as a vehicle to provide me better content: not just targeted ads, but relevant JIT search results (or even before I know I need it, which Google Now has an alarming capacity to deliver).   I feel less “exploited” by Google.  Whether that faith in “don’t be evil” is misplaced or not is certainly open for argument.  But I’m a lot less angry when Google missteps, for better or for worse.  The point is, I feel Google’s goal really is to deliver me the information I want when I want it.  Facebook’s goal is a lot more nebulous and, I think, nefarious.

2. Desire to “own” my words and to be a “grown-up.”

I’ve always been a proponent of “hosting it myself”, because only when you control the server that hosts your content (regardless of what that “content” is) can you really own it.  I’ve resisted using a lot of the photo-sharing services over the years for that exact reason.  I operate my own website, and now my own Diaspora server.

It’s not just an ownership thing, though.  Facebook has always felt like a junior-high school, with the petty drama and note-passing.  Facebook contains about 80% drivel and about 20% interesting content.  The signal-to-noise level is overwhelming.

I guess I’m finally growing up.

3. It’s not worth the emotional downsides

This is a big one too.  it’s partially related to that school-like setting I talk about above, but it’s deeper than that.  Studies are revealing something I’ve always suspected: social networks don’t necessarily increase our happiness and connectivity to others.  In fact, there’s strong evidence the exact opposite is true.

My life has had a lot of emotional ups and downs over the past few years.  At every turn downward I’ve had some (in the grand scheme of things) small irritant from Facebook get under my skin.  In every case the vector has been from somebody who only cursorily knows me.  I have a lot of true friends.. people who know me, understand my quirks, and most importantly give at least a portion of a shit about me.

Those who care about me, I feel, will continue to follow me wherever I go.  They followed me from LiveJournal, they’ll likely follow me towards Diaspora and this website.

 

MOVING FORWARD

So, what’s next?

Well, obviously, it’s time I dusted off this old website and actually use it again.  I should reinstall the federated login systems so people can comment without creating accounts.  There’s lots of other stuff I should do here.  And I feel that doing some of those things will allow me to hone some of my rusty sysadmin skills too, and give me projects I can work on.

And then there’s Diaspora.

For those who don’t know, Diaspora is a social networking alternative.  I won’t go into a long and involved tutorial on how Diaspora works here (that will be another post), but it’s likely the social networking I’m going to use in the future.  In brief, Diaspora is a meshed social networking service.. small communities run pods, which  talk to other pods to pass posts from individuals across the grid.  I’m running a pod myself.  If you are new to Diaspora and want to follow my posts, you can join  at https://diaspora.feedle.net.  If you join my Diaspora pod or another one, you can follow “feedle@diaspora.feedle.net” to get the Facebook-style short blurbs about what’s going on  in my life.  (There is an Android client as well..)  For IM, Google’s ever evolving chat system is a good choice.

And I’ll still tweet now and then.

But I’m going to slowly be disconnecting from Facebook.  I have already disabled the Facebook client on my phone, and uninstalled Facebook Messenger.  I likely will only post important stuff on Facebook, and they will be crossposts from Diaspora.

Thanks for listening to my rants, and hopefully we’ll see you out there.

So, there was this time I went bowling..

This post is mostly just an FYI, for the 1% of the population that doesn’t know this.

On February 28th, I went to the Emergency Room unable to catch my breath after playing a couple of games of 10-pin down at the local bowling alley.  On March 2, I had a quadruple heart bypass.  I spent the next week more or less half-conscious in the hospital.

My recovery has been slow, I’m still in a moderate amount of pain.  On the plus side, I feel pretty good.. in some ways, I feel “better” than I did before I went into the hospital.  Before just getting through my day was often a struggle.  Now I don’t feel like I’m struggling to get through it, even if I need to occasionally sit down or have a nap if I spend too much time walking around.

One of the upsides of this was I got to spend a couple of weeks at this wonderful home of a friend-of-a-friend.  It was a nice pastoral setting, kind-of out of the center of town.  It was a very supportive environment, and a huge thank you to Helen and her good doctor friend for tolerating me when I was recovering.

Also, Matt, Mee, Brendan, and Silvia came to visit for a couple of days when I was discharged initially.  If not for their support, I would have been kinda screwed.  They made sure I had a safe place to go, and that means the world to me.  Thanks guys.

So, that’s the short of it.  I’m still hurting from the surgery, but the scars are healing.  I have good days and bad days.  But at least I have years ahead of me.

Heart surgery sucks, by the way.  Would not recommend.

Goodbye, Summertime.

We had a lot in common, you and I.  Mom found you in a parking lot, much like she found me without a home when I was too young to take care of myself.   She took us in, and loved  us like we were her own flesh and blood.

And when you were older, and our mother was gone, you were happy to walk along this road of life with me.  You shared my food, and when I proved I was a poor hunter tried to share your kill with me.  You cheered me up when I was sad, you kept me company when I was alone, and you were always there.  You followed me from Southern California to Portland, and save for a few months when I wandered to Montana and Central Oregon, you walked with me.

And I learned much from you.  I learned that it’s ok to be a Hunter in a Farmer’s world.  I learned from you that sometimes the simple things in life.. like sitting in a warm basket by a warm fire (or at least the gas heater) has value.  You annoyed me when I was not taking care of myself. And you reminded me that there are reasons to keep fighting.  And you perpetually got in everybody’s way: even earning the names “Speed Bump” and “Roadblock” at places you stayed.

Today, you left this world to walk with Bastet.  You looked at me and I knew it was time.  You were tired, you were in pain, and it was time to go.  And it hurts to know that tomorrow, I will awake to a world without you physically by my side.  You’ve left a mark on me like few have: you weren’t a mere cat, you weren’t a mere pet, you were my familiar.

Norma took this candid photograph of us a year ago when we lived out in the middle of the Badlands.  It will always be the image of you in my mind: walking beside me and being a good friend.  Goodbye, dear one.

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Why I’m bear-ish on Bitcoin

OK, this has come around again, so I guess I need to actually fill a few of you in on something. I hate to be the one to break this to you. But, Bitcoin isn’t going to ever achieve any kind of mass success.

There’s no conspiracy theory, no “big banks are keeping it down, man!” plot. The reasons why Bitcoin will fail like EVERY OTHER ATTEMPT to create a digital currency before it simply boils down to this.

Social and political issues have never been solved technologically. They’ve always been solved.. well, socially and politically first, and the technology has only played a factor long after the shouting has stopped.

The reasons for this involve “tipping points”, and I won’t go into the whole theory on tipping points and macroeconomics here. Go read Freakonomics and The Tipping Point if you want an exhausting analysis as to the reasons Bitcoin has yet to achieve enough critical mass (and more importantly, enough critical mass in the right areas).  The TL;DR edition: until you can use Bitcoins at a mass-market retailer, fuhgeddabout.

But let’s wander back to the first point, which is, technology never solves social ills by itself.  It only solves social and political problems when it is clear to enough “somebodys” that Societal Ill A can be solved by Technology B in a direct, linear fashion.  And, to that end, Bitcoin doesn’t even serve to solve the societal ill it claims to combat.  And that goes double here in the US, I’m afraid to say, because we do live in a self-styled “democracy”.. and I’m ashamed to admit this, but most Americans are too dumb to understand any cause and effect that can’t be summed up in a 15-second infographic on CNN.

Bitcoin is trumpeted up as being a way for, say, the Occupy Movement to finally free us from the financial tyranny (*snort*) of the Big Banks.  Well, that’s all fine and dandy, but.. please explain to me how any third-party currency, be it Bitcoins, Lindens, or Disney Dollars, “frees” me from dealing with the Big Banks when it is impossible to buy any of the “necessities” of life (food, clothing, shelter, and transportation) without using US Dollars.  It’s not just difficult, it is impossible.  Even the handful of small merchants who accept Bitcoin are doing it largely via automatic exchanges that are converting the coins into US Dollars at clearance.  You can probably count on one hand the pure-play merchants who are keeping any quantity of Bitcoins on hand.

And that shouldn’t surprise anyone.  How many brick and mortar merchants keep a large quantity of cash on hand?  None of them do, don’t be silly.  They may keep a few hundred dollars in change, and they may have a day’s receipts worth of cash because they haven’t made the bank run yet.  But in the back of the grocery store on the corner there isn’t some massive safe with thousands of dollars locked away in it for any longer than it has to be.

And that goes double for Bitcoins, because of the very volatile nature of the “currency.”  Minute to minute prices of Bitcoin fluctuate, so if you’re a merchant that accepts Bitcoin you are playing a game of “beat the clock” every time you accept Bitcoin.   You want to get that out of the liquid state of Bitcoins into cold, hard US Dollars as quickly as possible, lest you potentially lose the entire value of the transaction when the Bitcoin market has one of it’s frequent and violent cases of shitting itself.

Businesses are highly risk-averse, and there is no greater risk heavier than acting as a currency exchange.  In effect, every merchant that wants to accept Bitcoin has to know the value of Bitcoin to whatever they’re paying out in expenses in (and with rare exception, regardless of where in the world it is, that essentially becomes the US Dollar).  There is actually one or two of the major Bitcoin trading houses who do this automatically via a “shopping cart”: and guess what they clear the funds in.  Usually, the quicker the better.

Point is, even in some hypothetical future scenario where Seven-11 takes Bitcoin (hey, it could happen, they take PayPal, amirite?) they’re not going to be trading in Bitcoin, just accepting it and converting it to a more fungible, negotiable currency.  Right now, that currency is the Federal Reserve Note US Dollar, who.. yeah, we know.  Big banks.

At the end of the day, big banks have their hold over us precisely because they’re.. big banks.  When Kroger needs a loan to open a new store, they’re not going to launch a Kickstarter. They’re going to talk to their banker, and depending on their financial solvency they may issue more stocks, or a capital bond, or borrow the money.  In all three cases, the people who are giving them the money will be giving it in US Dollars, and expecting payment in US Dollars.

And why not?  The US Dollar is a reasonably stable currency.  You know that if you loan out $1,000,000 at 5% interest exactly how much you’re going to get paid back.  And the only calculation you have to make as the loaner of the money is the risk of the investment itself compared to other potential investments: you don’t have to necessarily worry that the currency will be worth substantially less in five years’ time.  The ups and downs of the US Dollar are “well understood”, the risks are largely able to be mitigated.

The only way Bitcoin will ever succeed as a widely accepted currency is if the US Dollar fails.  And to be honest, if that happens, no cryptocurrency will save us: there will be no capital available to keep the lights on to even think about a cybercurrency.